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An opinion as collectors/owners
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DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar ContributorLord Of The Sith
Registered: March 17, 2007
United States Posts: 853
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Let me apologize in advanced because I think this might get long.  I recently took my family of vacation and asked one of my closest friends to sit my house while I was a way.  Recently, he had been helping a young woman get on her feet.  I had met her, she seemed nice polite well groomed and the sort.  We agreed that she would be allowed to help him house sit so they could hang out and watch movies, to make sure my animals were cared for and my house wasn't burglarized while I was away.  Like many of you my collection is over 2000 films, I do not look to see if every film is where it belongs everyday.  My wife decided it was time to do some spring cleaning which includes dusting the DVDs.  This is a horrific task but must be done yearly or we would stop breathing.  I printed out a list and figured I would see the condition of my collection (eg, look for missing films, see what I may want on Blu-ray, broken cases that need replaced.)  This is where it begins to suck.  As I have known this friend for more than 15 years and know he would NEVER steal from me, it came to pass his friend did.  She obviously just grabbed the just watched pile of DVD's off of a desk and dropped them in her bag when my friend wasn't looking.  Not that the content matters she stole Castle Season 5, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, The Hobbit The Desolation of Smaug 3D Version, Lego Ninjago Master's of Spinjitzu, and Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief.  I have already replaced Castle Target had it for $22.99.  I am waiting to replace the Desolation of Smaug until later this year when the extended version comes out.  My local Sam's Club has the Lightning Thief for 7.98 Blu/DVD Combo.  This Prisoner of Azkaban is about 12.00 on Amazon and Spinjizu I am sure I can find, I am not really keen on replacing it.  All in all I am out about $100 - $150.  So after all of this, here is my question.  As she was not my friend she was my friend's, should I ask him to cough up the cash for the missing DVD/Blu-rays.  I do not want this to become an issue in our friendship, I am not mad at him.  But as he brought her in my house even with my permission, I feel he is kind of responsible for her actions.  Finally, I am unable to go to her as she has packed her things and moved out of state to get away from EVERYBODY she stole from including my friend.
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar Contributorbbbbb
on steroids
Registered: March 14, 2007
Posts: 5,734
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Quoting Lord Of The Sith:
Quote:
Let me apologize in advanced because I think this might get long.  I recently took my family of vacation and asked one of my closest friends to sit my house while I was a way.  Recently, he had been helping a young woman get on her feet.  I had met her, she seemed nice polite well groomed and the sort.  We agreed that she would be allowed to help him house sit so they could hang out and watch movies, to make sure my animals were cared for and my house wasn't burglarized while I was away.  Like many of you my collection is over 2000 films, I do not look to see if every film is where it belongs everyday.  My wife decided it was time to do some spring cleaning which includes dusting the DVDs.  This is a horrific task but must be done yearly or we would stop breathing.  I printed out a list and figured I would see the condition of my collection (eg, look for missing films, see what I may want on Blu-ray, broken cases that need replaced.)  This is where it begins to suck.  As I have known this friend for more than 15 years and know he would NEVER steal from me, it came to pass his friend did.  She obviously just grabbed the just watched pile of DVD's off of a desk and dropped them in her bag when my friend wasn't looking.  Not that the content matters she stole Castle Season 5, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, The Hobbit The Desolation of Smaug 3D Version, Lego Ninjago Master's of Spinjitzu, and Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief.  I have already replaced Castle Target had it for $22.99.  I am waiting to replace the Desolation of Smaug until later this year when the extended version comes out.  My local Sam's Club has the Lightning Thief for 7.98 Blu/DVD Combo.  This Prisoner of Azkaban is about 12.00 on Amazon and Spinjizu I am sure I can find, I am not really keen on replacing it.  All in all I am out about $100 - $150.  So after all of this, here is my question.  As she was not my friend she was my friend's, should I ask him to cough up the cash for the missing DVD/Blu-rays.  I do not want this to become an issue in our friendship, I am not mad at him.  But as he brought her in my house even with my permission, I feel he is kind of responsible for her actions.  Finally, I am unable to go to her as she has packed her things and moved out of state to get away from EVERYBODY she stole from including my friend.


So, I was walking around one night in Antigua in search of a transvestite who had robbed me the previous night, when all of a sudden, my buddy, Max, spotted across the street a breathtaking nude painting in a small little art gallery. He insisted that we take a break to get a closer examination. Reluctantly, I agreed to pause my search. In hindsight, I couldn't be more satisfied with my decision to do so, for little did I know that I would immediately there after meet a man who would soon earn his way into my list of Top Five Favorite People in the World. Alexander Ferrar is, without question, the most interesting man I have ever met in my life. I could go on for pages about what an incredible individual he is, and how fortunate you are if you are ever blessed enough to make his acquaintance, but I will try my best to stick to talking about his first restaurant, Sobremesa. Of all the months I spent in Guatemala, never did I experience such exceptional cuisine. The first meal I had was the Croque Jean Pollet with a side of potatoes and carrots for only Q58 (about $7.50 for something that would easily go for $20-$30 in the states). For the first time since as long as I can remember, I literally LICKED THE PLATE CLEAN. Hands down, the best meal I had eaten since I had arrived in the country, and I had eaten at several restaurants and house holds around the country. After that night, I returned to his restaurant every night until I left a week and a half later. Each entrée on his menu is an original creation. From his Unicorn steak (yes, unicorn, and you can even ask him where and how he acquires them) to his apple-habenaro ice cream (oh yeah, he has 47 original exotic flavors of ice cream which he created), every bit of food to come out of his kitchen is (in my opinion) better than your grandma could've ever hoped to make. Not only is it the best food you'll ever have, it's dirt cheap. The sandwich menu ranges from Q50 to Q58 (between $6.50 and $7.50), and the steak/other stuff menu ranges from Q80 to Q95 (between $10 and $12). In fact, the only thing that breaks Q100 on his menu are bottles of wine. Just try comparing that to the several other gourmet restaurants in the area whose food, I guarantee you, will not come close to comparing to Alex's. Aside from being a world class chef, Alex is a remarkable painter, with several works on exhibit and for sale in his restaurant/art gallery, along with many from local artists. And what he's doing is amazing, because while most art galleries are selling their cheapest pieces at a couple grand, Alex sells his (which are just as good if not far better than the other "high end" art shops) in a range of $200 to $2,000 at the most because he hates the cliché that art is typically marketed to the hierarchy of society. Instead, he wants art available to everyone, and is even up for bartering in some cases. Having this mind set, he is able to sell far more paintings much more frequently than other galleries which is good news for his struggling local artists. One guy, for instance, was able to put his kid through four years of college thanks to Alex for pushing his paintings when he had previously been denied from other galleries since he hadn't actually been to school for painting. Alex has an amazing heart, and this is unmistakably apparent in his attitude and service with which he treats each and every customer that enters his shop, even if to just pop in to glance at a painting that captured their eye as they were walking by. My only regret is that it took me an entire summer to finally stumble upon the jewel that is Sobremesa. Look for the new location near the Citibank on the central park.
Don't confuse while the film is playing with when the film is played. [Ken Cole, DVD Profiler Architect]
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantFloorwalker
Dona Nobis Pacem
Registered: March 16, 2007
Reputation: High Rating
United States Posts: 943
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I think you should at least tell your friend what happened.  Perhaps he will offer to replace the stolen items.
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DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar ContributorLord Of The Sith
Registered: March 17, 2007
United States Posts: 853
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Quoting Floorwalker:
Quote:
I think you should at least tell your friend what happened.  Perhaps he will offer to replace the stolen items.


He knows.  Me finding out that my DVD's were missing prompted him to check his petty cash.  That is how he found out she stole from him to.
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar ContributorKathy
Registered: May 29, 2007
Reputation: Highest Rating
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There is only one person to blame and that belongs to the person who stole your movies.

A close friend would be devastated to learn they were the cause of your problems and for that reason alone I wouldn't say anything.

Edit: I see that your friend is aware of your loss.

I don't know why they haven't offered you any compensation but that in itself tells me something.
 Last edited: by Kathy
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantBlair
Resistance is Futile!
Registered: October 30, 2008
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Since he knows and hasn't offered, I would say that he should be left out of it.

If he had let her in without you knowing and/or you had never seen her before and/or you were physically paying him to watch the house, then sure, the blame is on him as well as her, and he should have to make up for it since she obviously isn't around to do so.

As it is, though, she is the only one to blame. You shouldn't blame him for not being a good enough watchdog with someone that was trusted by you to come in.
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He who MUST get the last word in on a pointless, endless argument doesn't win. It makes him the bigger jerk.
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantMark Harrison
I like IMDB
Registered: March 13, 2007
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For most of my friends, that friendship would be more important than a handful of DVDs.  Him paying would be a nice gesture.  But if I was the one who gave that permission for her to be there, I'd blame myself rather than my friend.
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DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar ContributorLJG
Registered: March 14, 2007
Reputation: High Rating
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I'm going to throw this out there-but did you file a police report? You still won't get your DVDs back, most likely, but without being caught, this person will just keep on stealing. Your friend should file one as well. Also, if you find something bigger has come up missing and you need insurance to replace it, you will need the report as well.
Lori
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantJMGuer
Registered: June 1, 2013
Portugal Posts: 217
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Quoting Mark Harrison:
Quote:

if I was the one who gave that permission for her to be there, I'd blame myself rather than my friend.
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar ContributorLord Of The Sith
Registered: March 17, 2007
United States Posts: 853
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Quoting LJG:
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I'm going to throw this out there-but did you file a police report? You still won't get your DVDs back, most likely, but without being caught, this person will just keep on stealing. Your friend should file one as well. Also, if you find something bigger has come up missing and you need insurance to replace it, you will need the report as well.


I did not file a police report as I cannot "prove" she did it.  In my city non-violent/non-suspect crimes get a purple card from the police department.  Most insurance companies will not accept them as proof of loss as you can claim anything on them.  We have since done a pretty good inventory of the house and it appears this was a single crime of opportunity.  She obviously was not a master burglar as there were other things in the house that were worth much more that were as easily accessible if she would have looked for half a second longer.  My best guess is when my friend walked into the bathroom, she dropped this single stack in her purse and then likely pawned it for cash.
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar ContributorLord Of The Sith
Registered: March 17, 2007
United States Posts: 853
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Quoting JMGuer:
Quote:
Quoting Mark Harrison:
Quote:

if I was the one who gave that permission for her to be there, I'd blame myself rather than my friend.


This is exactly why I posed this question to our group in the first place.  When it first happened that was my immediate thought.  It was only after thinking about it for awhile and saying to myself, "wait, he was supposed to be watching my stuff, that is why he was here" that I posed this question.  And for those that have broached the topic, no I am not stopping a 15 year friendship over this.  He is a friend that is MUCH MORE important than a few hundred dollars.  This is more about the violation I am feeling than the items taken.
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar ContributorLewis_Prothero
Strength Through Unity
Registered: May 19, 2007
Reputation: Superior Rating
Germany Posts: 6,730
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Quoting Lord Of The Sith:
Quote:
It was only after thinking about it for awhile and saying to myself, "wait, he was supposed to be watching my stuff, that is why he was here" that I posed this question.


Well he, kind of, did.
Your pets were in good condition and your house wasn't exactly burglared when you came back.

What we learn from this is: Never ever, under no circumstances, let an addict (and the comparably small amount stolen indicates that she is exactly that) enter your house.
They lie and steal and give a damn about the mess they leave behind.
Had to learn this myself when trying to get one of my In-Laws back on his feet again ... well he surely spoiled it for anyone else needing my help. The most ironic part of my story: If he would have asked, I would have given him the money (< 100), but he preferred to steal.
It all seems so stupid, it makes me want to give up!
But why should I give up, when it all seems so stupid?


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 Last edited: by Lewis_Prothero
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar ContributorLord Of The Sith
Registered: March 17, 2007
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Quoting Lewis_Prothero:
Quote:
Quoting Lord Of The Sith:
Quote:
It was only after thinking about it for awhile and saying to myself, "wait, he was supposed to be watching my stuff, that is why he was here" that I posed this question.


Well he, kind of, did.
Your pets were in good condition and your house wasn't exactly burglared when you came back.

What we learn from this is: Never ever, under no circumstances, let an addict (and the comparably small amount stolen indicates that she is exactly that) enter your house.
They lie and steal and give a damn about the mess they leave behind.
Had to learn this myself when trying to get one of my In-Laws back on his feet again ... well he surely spoiled it for anyone else needing my help. The most ironic part of my story: If he would have asked, I would have given him the money (< 100), but he preferred to steal.


While I do not wish to delve into her situation there is no proof or reason to believe she was an addict.  She had no money of her own, this I do know.  The part that you are right about is if she had asked me I probably would have ponied up the money to help her out.  This hasn't ruined me helping people out, it has ruined me helping them close to home.
DVD Profiler Desktop and Mobile Registrantleo1963
Registered: May 14, 2007
United States Posts: 455
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Please don't let this harm your giving spirit and helping others.  You did the Christan thing and helped out another person in need.  Just know that we reap what we swoe.  In the long run you will be rewarded for your kindness and someday she will get what's coming to her, JUDGEMENT.

I personally would let it be, cut your losses and move on.  Everything happens for a reason.  As I told my daughter when someone totaled her car, "It's just a piece of metal.  You are ok and that's all that matters."  Your animals are ok and it is just DVD's.  I had someone steal 200 DVDs from my house once and I was very upset but I could only move on and look forward to another day.

Good Luck.
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar ContributorSpikyCactus
I have a Gold Star!
Registered: July 16, 2010
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Considering that the amount of money involved in replacing them is not too large, your friend has been stolen from too and has also had his trust betrayed in a far worse way than you, I think I’d be inclined to go down the pub with him, have a bitch about her and move on.  It’s not something that’s going to happen again and it would be a shame if it spoilt your friendship or reduced your trust in each other or others.

"Having a bitch about someone".  Is that an expression used outside of the UK?
Do you ever find yourself striving for perfection with an almost worthless attempt at it?  Guttermouth "Lemon Water".  Also, I include in my Profiler database VHS tapes, audio DVDs, audio books (digital, cassette and CD), video games (digital, DVD and CD) and 'enhanced' CDs with video tracks on them, as well as films and TV I've bought digitally.  So I'm an anarchist, deal with it.  Just be thankful I don't include most of my records and CDs etc in it too; don't think I haven't been tempted...
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar ContributorDarklyNoon
No Godz, No Masterz
Registered: May 8, 2007
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I would have filed a  police report, but as you said that won't lead to anything in your city, I would prolly let this go, it is not THAT miuch amount of cash to replace the stuff and none of them were items that were rare and unreplacable.
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